IMMEDIATE ACTION REQUIRED
We have detected a trojan virus! I have developed affinities for dying in peculiar ways such as
being choked by the moonlight’s shaking hands or swallowing a cup of live rattlesnake babies
Personal and banking information is at risk! I can’t sleep because I keep thinking about God
covering me in a salty ocean with lots of shiny urchins To avoid more damage, click on ‘Scan
Now’ immediately! I keep thinking about God giving me starfish lungs and muddy seashells
as eyes Our deep scan will provide help right now! Subhanallah alhamdullilah allahuakbar is
for all the times when I want to be an angry octopus poisonous oozing fakecruel misandry Press
OK to begin the repair process! I want to be reunited with my mother in heaven away from my
piranha sins and wrongdoings Your computer has been infected! I have stopped recognising
myself in the bathroom mirror Install our software to clean your MacBook of clutter! I want
God to tell me there is a house made out of goldfish bones and seaweed clusters even though I
don’t deserve this 10 minute and 10 seconds before the damage is permanent! Somewhere
another me is scraping congealed red algae sins off the walls 10 minute and 10 seconds before
the damage is permanent! I know God will never forget the alligator tortures I made myself
endure on this Earth 10 minute and 10 seconds remaining before damage is permanent! I know
God is thinking about all of my mistakes right now I know all the seahorses I killed are plotting
to steal me away as I sleep 10 minute and 10 seconds before I flush my irises down the toilet
10 minute and 10 seconds before I realise my tongue is in a deadbeat swamp which isn’t mine
Sidrah Zubair is a poet and (soon-to-be) English teacher living and working in London. She completed her BA from Goldsmiths and MA in Creative Writing from Durham. Her previous poetry can be found in PERVERSE, bath magg and Poetry Birmingham Literary Journal.