Disabled Person’s Travel Card
Council, council, let me on the bus
That you let me on last week.
Oh no Ms Watt, you can’t go on the bus
For we don’t know where you live.
So off I went to get proof of address
And I thought I’d sorted out the mess
But the council tore it up.
Council, council let me on the bus
That you let me on last week.
Oh no, Ms Watt, you can’t go on the bus
For we need a doctor’s note.
So I got them a note to make it clear
That I’m still disabled, like last year.
But the council tore it up.
Council, council, let me on the bus
That you let me on last week.
Oh no Ms Watt, you can’t go on the bus.
We need two sick notes, not one.
The neurologist said “I know you know
That cerebral palsy doesn’t go.
Still, here’s a form to tell them so”.
But the council tore it up.
Council, council, let me on the bus
With my lifelong reasons why.
Oh no Ms Watt, you can’t go on the bus
For your picture isn’t straight.
So I sent a note to my MSP
And he wrote a poem in praise of me.
But the council tore it up.
Council, council, let me on the bus
With my lifelong reasons why.
Oh no Ms Watt, you can’t go on the bus
For you’re trying to rip us off.
I showed the form to my sister-in-law
And we typed all night till our nerves were raw
But the council tore it up.
Council, council, let me on the bus
With my pile of paperwork.
Oh no, Ms Watt, you can’t go on the bus.
We require a note from God.
So I went to church and knelt to pray.
God sent me a letter the very next day.
But the council tore it up.
Council, council, stop. I’ve had enough.
I’ve had all that I can stand. Oh good.
Your application went
Exactly as we planned.
Nuala Watt’s poems have appeared in anthologies including Stairs and Whispers: D/Deaf and Disabled Writers Write Back (Nine Arches Press 2017).Poems have appeared on BBC Scotland and on BBC Radio 3 and 4.