The depressed girl makes a smoothie

Strawberries. Cut them up
into pebble-sized pieces.
They’re supposed to go out of date
in three days
but one of them already has mould
growing on it.
It reminds me of the sky I see
through my bedroom window
on a mostly sunny day.
I lose count of how many
strawberries I cut up.
One banana. Peel and slice. They pile up
on top of the strawberries
in the clear plastic bottle,
like the banana-coloured pills
piled up on my desk:
Sertraline, melatonin,
the contraceptive pill,
zinc, vitamin c,
vitamin d, magnesium.
Two kiwis. Supposedly
they promote serotonin production.
I cut them in half and carve out the meat,
not bothering to remove
the hard white core.
Bits of the hairy skin stick to the insides
but I throw it into the bottle anyway.
I add too much orange juice, though I know
it’ll make the smoothie sour.
As I secure the bottle to the blender
I stare out the window
and thank the architect
for designing the windows
to only open
10cm at the bottom.


Maddie Forest is a poet, writer and procrastinator in her early 20s. She’s originally from Finland but currently studying Creative Writing at Bath Spa University. You can find her on twitter @itsmaddiehbu