Lightheaded
Sick of steadying
the base
of the ladder
while you ascend
to fix or fell
sculpting, tweaking
real and here
when mostly I feel
hardly real
and hardly here.
I’d rather be inside
pretending I’m not
pretending commentary
inside my head
is real and here
and the flickering
of moments
years on recall
days to soon regret
still buzzes on and off
in my nodding
thick-boned head.
Still, I grip the rail
stand below
beside, wherever
I am told
where I’m of use
or out of the way
as long as I don’t lead
as long as I don’t
take a step up
for to raise my view
would raise
my expectations
and I feel safer
on the ground
mud stuck
clogged with
earthly comforts
camouflaged
in ordinary
assured in
average and
terrified of vertigo.
Kate Maxwell lives in Sydney, Australia. She’s been published and awarded in many Australian and International literary magazines. She’s published two poetry anthologies: Never Good at Maths (2021) and Down the Rabbit Hole (2023). She can be found at kateswritingplace.com