Doctors in difficulty
after Helen Mort
A trainee in difficulty is one whose progress is causing concern or who is not meeting curricular requirements.
This may be due to ill health, life events, difficulties with learning or through less than satisfactory professional conduct.
Health Education England
Difficult doctors don’t care about their patients,
They are filling up hospitals and GP practices with their difficult bodies.
They are often late to work and shuffle into handover
at the back with an unbrushed hair and without makeup, not even
making an effort. Difficult doctors can often be spotted because they
may bring items from their difficult homes such as fuzzy felt on clothing
or a peppa pig lunchbox. Some of these difficult doctors can become emotional
at work and seem not to be able to detach and remain professional at all times.
Difficult doctors will often neglect their e portfolios. Other misguided doctors,
who are also difficult may try to assist them to climb over barriers and hurdles
placed in their way instead of allowing natural selection to breed only the fittest.
Recently, many of these difficult doctors have started to make
difficult noises, because apparently they have been experiencing difficulty
with paying for things and they don’t have family money to fall back on.
Sometimes difficult doctors might suggest doing something differently
in the clinical area but this is only because they have not understood
the correct way to do things and that things were better in the old days.
Some of these difficult doctors have made their way into theatres.
It is said in London, you are never more than six feet away from a
difficult doctor. Be on your guard! There could be one at your scrub sink
taking offense at harmless banter about sexuality or race or some other woke thing.
Difficult doctors often have difficult relatives who may become unexpectedly sick,
distracting them at work or they may even become sick themselves,
clearly a sign of their own clinical incompetence.
Difficult doctors are often late.
This is because they spend too much time with their patients and are not able to
extricate themselves from irrelevant conversations. On ward rounds they may take excessive time
educating other difficult staff members. Difficult doctors do not seem to understand
tribalism and may intermingle with other difficult members of the healthcare professions
even talking to them on equal terms. You can spot a difficult doctor because they will
send multiple emails about rota requests several months in advance,
including things like leave for weddings.
Difficult doctors may have difficulties in their personal relationships
this is because they may have made poor choices and have a partner who doesn’t understand
that no one ever got anywhere in medicine by working only their scheduled hours.
Difficult doctors may be continually starting new tasks without
finishing previous audits. They may have problems prioritising. They may write poetry.
Difficult doctors may upset other team members without meaning to
or disappear for inexplicable reasons during ward rounds.
Have you completed your mandatory e learning in supporting difficult doctors?
If so, ensure you submit the certificate at your annual appraisal.
Did you have difficulties answering any of the tick box questions?
Are you afraid you might have difficulties yourself?
Elizabeth Osmond (x=@bethosmond, instagram= @osmond_beth) is a doctor and a poet. Her work has been published in several online and print journals including Ink Sweat & Tears, Atrium, Intima and the Alchemy spoon. She won prizes in both the 2021 and 2024 Hippocrates competition for poetry and medicine.
Helen Mort’s poem that inspired this can be found on Kim Moore’s blog here