How to not exist
Allow yourself to be elbowed aside
become a non-person
an avoider of lingering looks
Ask
how can I best be ignored?
foster a gnawing sorrow
howling complaints to imaginary friends
In portraits
your eyes should be nebulous
stare at your reflection in a mirror
until you no longer recognise your face
Eventually
the people who knew you
lovers and enemies
will find someone else to hate or to love
Once you are entirely invisible
sit in a chair
with your feet trailing on the floor
the tea in your cup gone cold
If you look from a window
to watch the street
and someone posts a letter in a red mail box
don’t enter into the experience
don’t be tempted to participate
to add your heartbeat to the ebb and flow of life
stop there
or you will be writing lists
driven by enticing urges
entertaining fantasies
you will poke and fidget
overcome by frenzied
deranged expectation
an unwarranted confidence
singing to the walls to hear yourself rejoice.
David Belcher lives in North Wales, his work has appeared in journals and magazines, online and in print, and he writes and reads for enjoyment. David is not a complicated person.