New English Phrasebook

My psychiatrist suffers from low self-esteem.
I only cut my forearms on Saturdays.
I have no friends, just followers.
We offer a mindfulness approach to social status readjustment.
Your kiss tastes of micro-plastics.
We have renamed all the cathedrals after the President.
I like the ash deserts, theyโ€™re better than trees.
Anyone who disagrees with me is not a patriot.
We donโ€™t have elections, we have spontaneous demonstrations of love.
Now I only bleed from every orifice, and my eyes.
The food is totally injectable and can be infused with the drugs of your choice for an extra fee.



Chris Lee is an Irish writer living in London. He is an established playwrightย but has recently started writing fiction.