Well Chilled

Yesterday I spent the afternoon with Vladimir Putin.
He was in a good mood and kept giving me more beer;
he personally attended the barbecue, serving up chicken wings
and he laughed and joked with everyone, including me.

You could see what a powerful man he is, his shirt bulges;
there was a twinkle in his blue eyes, and mud on his shoes.
Everyone was in awe of him, and though he was only a guest
he treated the place as if he owned it.

When he was telling jokes we all laughed a lot
and people kept nipping out to do his bidding,
returning with bags full of meat and cheese, and beer
– always well chilled; Vladimir knows how to get stuff.

At one point he asked me if I’d ever eaten alligator.
When I said ‘no’ he got some out of the freezer,
which shouldn’t have been there — it’s a protected species,
and he fried it in breadcrumbs; it tastes like chicken.

His wife’s going to request me as a friend on Facebook
— it might be handy having an inside track to the top man.
You could see his mother’s very proud of him
and he adores his step-father, who’s a quiet sort of bloke.

Me and Vlad, we’re like that now.



Phil Dunkerley is The Poetry Society representative for the Stamford Stanza. His poems have appeared in magazines, webzines and anthologies. Whenever he gets the chance he recites at open-mic events and elsewhere.