Today’s choice

Previous poems

Arlo Kean

 

 

 

Morning Outing with Mum

we are at a cafe        just round
the corner from hampstead
heath                     & sipping berry sunrise
smoothies    out

of soggy paper straws        we
are watching tangles of cockapoos
too many       north london
mums    boys i went to school

with     disguised by full grown
beards        we speak about
my studies      ahmed         butler
nelson    vuong  (I even use the word

teleological)        mum appears
impressed         i press my      now useless
straw into my glass
pick at a strawberry seed

wedged in my teeth           mum is
being weird          quiet
contemplative     she is half
smiling      i fiddle with my rings

uneasy   the waiter seems angry
a child has thrown chips
on the floor            the child is very pleased
about this      i am unsure what to feel

for a moment       i find myself
wishing             i could be
so demonstrative
i sit         silence

it feels as though
mum has something to say
i look      to the chips on the floor
she inhales.                                                        ‘I have to ask… are you gay?’

i guess

we have found
a language       of sorts
critical theory       as ice breaker
or bull-dozer more like

of the walls i’ve built        &
suddenly          all the mums
are laughing at me      i am naked
the dogs are growling

mum has changed the subject
it is not still      me
i am tired              hoping the outing is
almost over

&  then      she shuffles in
her seat                  i brace
there is more

i assume girlfriend        maybe sex or-                               ‘and, are you a they/them… yet?’

the cockapoos have pooled
together                 each is carrying an item
of my clothing        on its back over
parliament hill      i see a doberman

approach the cafe        fear for the
skin         that coats          my
flesh        smoothie gloop
residue on glass

i have realised mum was never
impressed
i  am realising       the irony
i will come to realise     this smoothie

always had a telos

seems almost funny to me now
that    t e l o s   is an anagram
              for  s t o l e

 

 

Arlo Kean (@_akeano_) is a community development worker and creative based in London. They are currently particularly interested in queer embodiment, kinship and loose forms of life writing. Their work can be found in t’Art Magazine and elsewhere

Marc Janssen

      Shasta You can stand on red banks like a brilliant tree Breathe toward the summit; You can descend like an avalanche. The mountain will not reject you The mountain might eat you alive But it will not reject you The mountain might turn you over The...

Rachel Coventry

      A Cell My heart, that scrappy little jail and inside it, you sitting there dejected growing more yellow and gaunt by the day. (I saw your thing on Instagram.) I would like to release you, but can’t the doors don’t work that way. If there is a key,...

Charlie Hill 

      Binge drinking  Sometimes I distract myself, watch Svankmajer with the family, or walk like Robert Walser, conversing cheerily with crows; but the news still bubbles madly under bouts of fierce bad skin, bursts forth in pints of wine and whisky...

Isabella Mead

      Blue Lilies The blue lilies celebrating my pregnancy I placed in a vase of blue-wash pottery. A sweet force had somehow swept through the gristle and splinters and sediments and sticky bubbles of my polycystic ovaries. I told her stories, lots,...

Adam Day

      Floors of Vapor Plover inside a crocodile’s mouth, blinking the clouds from its eyes. Doing nothing is difficult.     Adam Day is the author of Left-Handed Wolf (LSU Press, 2020), and of Model of a City in Civil War (Sarabande Books),...

Sharon Phillips

      Liminal   Before he died, he saw his parents more and more, not that it bothered him, he said, there was nothing untoward going on: they didn’t gesture him to follow nor loom at his bed in the care home; they went about their ordinary lives,...

Andy Murray

      Neuroleptics There goes the man with the paper face stretching his arms for takeoff, his cloak flapping  open for flight. He knows every twig in these wooded grounds. He can float above every tree. Above him red squirrels chase each other across...

David Gilbert

      Imagining Green   The leaf is the paradigmatic form of openness: life capable of being traversed by the world without being destroyed by it (The Life of Plants. A Metaphysics of Mixture. Emanuele Coccia.) I was imagining green light like two...

Simon Williams

      Tawny Owls I’ll take your owl, Paul, and Sylvia’s and raise you two, that call across the meadow on August nights; male and female: one twit, the other twoo. I won’t say which is which. No, I haven’t seen them, haven’t risked my bald pate, don’t...