With the bank holiday weekend in the UK fizzling out under a rain cloud, this next piece pretty much sums up every miserable wet-weekend disco we've ever been too…


A reason to stay in

Men glance across the room as they wait at the bar to order a drink
Women dance across the room as they wait for the men to stop and think
Men start to pick their target and the foes that they plan to eventually fight
Women start to pick at their hair as they get ready to invest for the rest of the night
Men have decided: they want the pretty, the cute, the drunk and the easy
Women have decided: they don’t want the petty, the poor, the ill hung or the sleazy
Men start to drink too much; they get aggressive and start a commotion
Women start to drink too much; they get suggestive, and put all the wheels into motion
Men get kicked out, so they’ll fuss and they’ll fight, they’ll leave with disgust and they’ll go for a bite.
Meanwhile, the women end up taking home the guy who said that fighting was petty.
Men wake up the next day with a banging headache and the smell of staleness.
Women wake up next to the sleazy guy with the small dick who was too poor to pay for a taxi last night.


* Sunil Sandhu says…  I have just finished a degree in law but besides that, I have been writing since I was 13 which means that I am nine years in the making!