Time of goodwill
The elf on the shelf won’t stop staring
we bought him from marks & sparks
and he seems to turn
a few degrees each evening
I first noticed on the 5th December
when his glare moved
towards the newly constructed tree
we got from b&q
But lately he covets my oak furniture land coffee table
while we sleep he uses the dusters from waitrose
to slide around its surface
I’ve noticed during the day
how the sabatier kitchen knives
have tiny hand prints on their blades
and wonder if he has been juggling them
or testing the edges for their sharpness
It was just three days ago
exactly one week before Christmas
we awoke to find him clinging
to our kenwood blender
the kids said he was trying
to make a smoothie
but I wonder
if his interests were more sinister
He even surprised us one morning by cooking
using our homer simpson donut maker
which we received last year from aunt carol
the burning smell stirred us
It is now only three days
until he leaves
And I can’t sleep –
I shall buy a sleep aid lamp
from lakeland tomorrow
that will help
and some nice cushions
maybe a new elf
Stephen Daniels is the editor the Amaryllis Poetry and Strange Poetry websites. His poetry has been published or is upcoming, in numerous magazines and websites. You can find out more at www.stephenkirkdaniels.com Twitter:@stephendaniels