The Venue
Could you please wait for the indicator buzzer
on the control panel: staff will be glad to oblige.
Though let’s be blunt, we want you as guinea pigs,
to make you feel responsible, and see you blush.
Sorry about the air in here, the fan’s broken
and the drains come up with an occasional belch.
A pleasure to be of service. Please mind your hair
in the sagging cables, if you’re sitting near the bulge.
The manager seems lonely up there in his cockpit
but he’s looking for new worlds to abolish.
We like to think the place is hygienic, the vinyl floor
is regularly scrubbed with a special bleach,
and the metal fixtures polished by our skivvies
gleam to charm you if you’re going to get bolshie.
So splash your wine where you like. On the sofa
the chocolate stains are guaranteed Belgian.
Peter Daniels has two collections, Counting Eggs (Mulfran, 2012) and A Season in Eden (Gatehouse, 2016). His translations of Khodasevich from Russian (Angel Classics, 2013) were shortlisted for three awards. He has also written the obscene Ballad of Captain Rigby.