Small Talk
Doorbell; the first guests, an hour
early for dinner. You’re not ready.
Hair still damp from the shower,
table devoid of plates and cutlery,
oven pre-heating, wine uncorked.
You get into character, fix an easy
grin on your face, open the door
to the soft minefield of the evening,
its nuances and niceties, small talk
and smiles. And this is the thing:
it must remain perfectly civilised
at all costs. You’re the custodian
of blandness, a jailer in disguise
rattling the keys of middle class
decorum; the guy whose job it is
to keep this joint clean, to police
the cellblock of the dinner table.
So you make sure nobody carries
a shiv of opinionism or is able
to distract the guards (i.e. those
droll and endlessly repeatable
golf and cricket club anecdotes
you trade on) with a whip-smart
but loaded remark that provokes
debate. God forbid guests impart
sensible perspectives on politics,
morality, religion … or even art!
Be alert for these kind of tricks;
recognise warning signs. Frown
on disrespect: any of these pricks
talks smart, you take ’em down.
Neil Fulwood is the author of ‘The Films of Sam Peckinpah’ and runs film review blog Agitation of the Mind. He’s a member of the Alan Sillitoe Committee, who are raising funds towards a permanent memorial to be sited in Nottingham. Neil co-designed their website www.sillitoe.com