A Bed and Breakfast in Hell


I thought it might
Spice things up a bit if I took the new fella
to a bed and breakfast
and he said don’t get your hopes up
I’m a lot like Billy Bob Thornton I have that phobia of
old furniture and antiques, what’s that called again
and I said I don’t really know
there’s a lot of phobias I can’t keep track
And the lady told us there would be a desert
tray outside our room with coffee and cookies
and a nice chardonnay and we said that sounds
great but the bed was a bit hard and there was no
TV or DVD player, not even VHS
just a bunch of books and some of them were
readers digest, but look I said here’s something,
and I picked out Linda Goodman’s Love Signs
and I read the first chapter to him and I thought
he was interested in it he said
sounds like she's figured
all of that stuff out,
he nibbled on a cookie
washed it down with
a gulp of chardonnay
his eyes glazed over
I thought things went well
but on the way home he
said it was like he
had gone to the
bed and breakfast from hell



* Melanie Browne is the co-editor of
Leaf Garden press – http://leafgardenpress.com
Heaven is a Giant Pawn Shop – a
collection of poems by Melanie Browne is available here: http://www.erbacce-press.com/#/melanie-browne/4533546014/