Wish I Had
A pet scorpion.
A pet scorpion named Chris.(1)
A deceased scorpion named Chris encased in Lucite.(™2)
A belt buckle made from a deceased scorpion once named Chris encased in Lucite.(™)
An ornate leather belt to wear with the Chris in Lucite™ belt buckle featuring my deceased pet scorpion named Chris.
A little stone turtle figurine, purchased from El Mercado3 in San Antonio during the same visit when I buy the ornate leather belt.
A fancy leather whip (4) from El Mercado in San Antonio that I can wear hanging from the side of the ornate leather belt with the scorpion belt buckle.
An embroidered Mexican dress that would look good with my belt, whip, and Chris (the scorpion).(5)
*****
1 In second grade, Chris was the first boy I ever liked. He was unbelievably cute but he never paid any attention to me, preferring to throw rocks with the other boys.
2 When Chris (the scorpion) dies of natural causes, I won’t just throw his body away.
3 There’s an amazing Mexican market in downtown San Antonio. You can buy leather goods, clothes, and onyx chess sets. I once bought a little stone turtle figurine and snuck it into Chris’ (the boy, not the deceased scorpion) desk. He never knew it was me.
4 Chris (the boy) had one of these whips. This made me want one too, so I saved up and bought one. I hit myself in the face with it pretty badly once. If I had one now, I’d be a lot more careful.
5 I think Chris (the boy) would like me in the dress. We could talk about growing up in San Antonio, and I could show him Chris (the deceased pet scorpion) in the Lucite™ belt buckle. I might not tell him that the scorpion’s name was Chris.6
6 If a pet scorpion named Chris (the scorpion) dies, and you wear it in a Lucite™ belt buckle, is it correct to say that the dead scorpion is still named Chris (the scorpion)? Is it okay to regret never seeing the boy named Chris (the boy) again?
*Lynn Beighley is a fiction writer stuck in a technical book writer’s body. Her stories often involve deeply flawed characters and the unsatisfying meshing of the virtual and actual world. She has an MFA in Creative Writing and currently has 13 books published. You can find more of her work in the e-book “The Lost Children: A Charity Anthology,” as well as at http://www.fictionaut.com/users/lynn-beighley and on Twitter as @lynnbeighley.
