Blood Days
Break all our delicate cups, my love
Shatter their bleeding flowers like you
shattered us. I don’t mind; because I was
that bad kid, the best student at the back of the class
sleeplessly studying stoplessly
for all the exams, writing the right
replies to those wrong questions, and yet
cheating just to make sure all my responses
were conspicuously correct. That I’d get the best grade to
appease my distressed self and expectant parents.
And of course, the addictive thrill of cheating
the drumming heartbeat, the slippery fingers, the sweaty pen
A forbidden book open, under the desk, on my trembling lap
or inked solutions on toilet papers emerging from my grey sleeves.
A retired magician making ends meet in a red circus
ten magicians chewing raw meat, blood oozing
through their teeth.
Ten thousand magicians murmuring your name, a
visceral curse in my scorching ears.
Break everything you please
just beware that loving and hurting you were the
last things I wanted to do, like those cheating days,
a treacherous teenager, trapped, in my dark school.
Golnoosh Nour is the author the poetry collection Sorrows of the Sun which was published in 2017 under her pseudonym Sogol Sur. She has performed both her prose and poetry in numerous literary events across the UK. Golnoosh just completed a PhD in Literature and Creative Writing. She teaches prose and poetry at Birkbeck and The University of East London.