Free to do as I want
A year ago I burnt the list
of all the things my parents, The Law
and The Bible forbade.
Released, I inhaled fresh thoughts
and indulged in eating pudding
in bed, three times before dinner,
But the kids next door, knocked
on my door, grinning like pumpkins
with trick candles inside.
Now I use candles in bed, their flames seem alive.
Last night I left a present of candles
for those noisy kids living next door.
Today is the anniversary of freedom,
I celebrate with champagne and
alone, I enjoy my silence at last.
My choices are heavy as chains
smothering the windows, the glass
like soot tainting the sun.
Freedom smells of burnt skin
and rope, as friction brands me
smouldering with consequences.
I chose freedom and now it hangs
a neck-rope sighing, sliping
through a noose from the ceiling.
My mind is free of all boundaries
but my body remains here floating
above my favourite chair.
The police knock on the door, knock
so loudly the door splinters and breaks,
they shout like the kids used to next door.
On my chair is a note for the coroner,
'Please NO post mortem, NO necropsy!'
but of course, he is free to do as he wants.
• Phuoc-Tan Diep is a regular contributor to IS&T. He says about this poem “This is a poem I wrote after reading Helen Ivory's The Double Life of Clocks in two days. Is this imitation? Is it the highest form of flattery?”
Talking of Helen Ivory… her second collection The Dog in the Sky is available now from Bloodaxe Books www.bloodaxebooks.com/personpage.asp?author=Helen+Ivory
