Curiosity
Driven by the Iago voice in your head
you let yourself into his Google account
rifle through in box, trash, spam…
until you find an email that scorches your fingers.
Brandishing his billet doux like lipstick on a collar,
Your ‘Can’t you see how I feel?’
Is met with a bewildered child’s gaze
‘They are just throw away lines that mean nothing’’.
So he talks you round with ‘the only woman for me’…
but his good night email becomes ‘Blah, blah, blah’
that is skim read then trashed.
Compelled by friends choric’ ‘But he lied’,
you unlock his phone with fumbling fingers .
One contact blazes like a red neon sign
pointing to a website buy accutane 20mg that punches you in the face.
You send his belongings packing to the shed,
but his email, ‘I have purged my past for you’
gets his foot back in the door of your life.
Still, watching TV, teaching grammar, buying clothes-
You self- harm by envisaging:
his Vauxhall joining other cars in a dark layby,
NSA stilettos tripping up to his flat,
him meeting a broadminded couple for coffee….
Fiona Sinclair reviews for numerous poetry magazines including IS&T and Happenstance. She is the editor of the online poetry magazine Message in a Bottle. Hew second pamphlet A Game of Hide and Seek is out now from Indigo Dreams.