Puppet
The instant
of absolute helplessness
when the flash
of revolving lights
appears in the rear view mirror
or when you’re lying naked
on the white sanitized tissue
stretched across the green exam table
and the doctor commands you
to roll over on your side,
knees bent, facing the wall
and you comply
like a well-trained dog
followed by the uncomfortable pause,
that blatant hesitation
as if time had suddenly frozen
or this was the day
when the earth actually stood still
until the smack of latex
against the fisted hand
snaps you back to reality
and alerts you to what is coming
yet still you are not prepared
for the lubricating jelly
that feels like cold dog slobber
as you clench your gluteal muscles,
muscles you never realized existed
until this very moment
when you sense that
the very hand of God
has reached up inside you
and it is then you realize
your life is not yours to control;
halfway expect
to hear yourself
speaking in tongues.
*Ben Rasnic crunches numbers for money; words for contrition.