some Interesting Facts about SPIDERS
spiders are not Insects because they have eight legs, although
the ‘Spider Swagger’ can be done on Six. spiders are Particularly
good at Battleships and have Bested other species consistently
in Championships. in 1846 the first Spider Top Hat was Conceived
Of by the designer ophelia bricks and was Considered a key point
in arachnid Fashion History. spiders do not wear Shoes unless they
are rich. post-coital Male spiders often go into Antiques. Words
that have been used to describe spiders in arachnophillic Literature
have been Boisterous, Seedy, Ur-Phallic (though that is Contested)
and aromatic. spiders communicate by Dancing, with more Complex
Dances such as the Disco, being used to express difficult Philosophical
And Scientific Thought, such as the Properties of Dark Matter, the
physical qualities of Light and the nature of Spider Deities such as
BIG HARD SIDNEY. contrary to Popular Belief, spiderweb is not in fact
made of the tears of dying Children but is a Viscous Protein made
from Carbon, Helium and the Light of dying Stars. spiders are Particularly
fond of owls and the OWL is often used as a Symbol Of virility, Freedom
and/or owlishness in Many spider cultures and Religions. For Instance,
the ancient egyptian spiders Worshipped an OWL-HEADED GOD. spiders
do not like Tapas! if a spider is left Outside in the rain it may Develop
a Hateful Personality, becoming Prone to bouts of Anti-Semitism,
homophobia and Spitefulness. to Cure a spider of these side-effects,
relieve it of one of its Legs. never put a spider on an Aeroplane as it
may Combust, or Behave In An Anti-Social Manner due to fear of
Combustion. Otherwise, spiders are generally Phlegmatic and don’t mind
being Associated with insects, especially Moths as they are Delicious.
Anna Cathenka’s poetry has been widely published in Stride, Zoomorphic, The Clearing, International Times and elsewhere. Her pamphlet Dead Man Walking will be published in the Autumn by New Fire Tree Press. She also makes poetry and podcasts, organises readings and runs workshops as part of the Sunbeats collective. Anna is currently based in Cornwall but will be moving to Norwich to study for the MA Poetry at UEA later this year. Anna can be found on Twitter @annacathenka and @sunbeatsco.