New Product Opportunity
Some of you may have already heard the latest development
– you’re intrigued, concerned, excited, perhaps ready to puke,
and believe me that could be something, because
the news is, the new thing is, men can get pregnant.
It isn’t fully out yet, this is the pilot.
Research has been going on for years,
and now it’s reached the crucial stage of trials
out in the field, the family suburb and the urban loft,
the council flat, the bachelor pad, wherever
volunteers come forward. We’re assured
it won’t escape into the general population, at least
for the time being. We aim to keep the romance
in reproduction, but we’d like to make it
a man thing. Today’s postmodern chameleon
in all his multifarious attitude, taking on
every possible way of being. We aim to create
new potential, realise the inner foetus, this is
far beyond the scope of your new age therapies.
Sermons will remonstrate. The law
will have a hard think. There will be
commercial opportunities, whole new markets.
The world will remain the world we know, but different.
The first volunteers will of course receive remuneration,
book contracts and the like. Your lives will be transformed.
Peter Daniels has won several competitions including the Arvon, Ledbury and TLS. He has published pamphlets including the obscene historical Ballad of Captain Rigby, the full collection Counting Eggs (2012), and translations of Vladislav Khodasevich from Russian (2013).