Fivefuckingfuckoffrings
Let battle commence against the dole grey world old and charmless pull up your hood be blinkered be unseen be a rising star on CCTV with exuberant flashes of mindless violence and a passion for thievery
pick up the phone I’ll let it ring five times the speed at which we nicked the sun and I know it were just a larf but yea we was quick man I mean the speed of light quick hands like camera flashes blur dazzle and it were in our back pocket then we legs it out of breath panting like some obscene phone call what colour is yer knickers pick up the phone why don’t you no good hanging about don’t wona linger yea but we got away with it stupid planets orbit round and round mental like special brew nutter like a central line cruiser got stars in their eyes gone milky way blind give ‘em the slip when we circled the solar system uranus rising little green men on mars saturn’s rings pick up the phone please we was back by three nice and tidy in time to get the drinks in but there’s old bill large as life sitting in the boozer scratching his nut trying to do sudoku yet over the top of his lager top he’s clocking us and we’re feeling iffy and we’re looking all shifty pick up the phone ‘cos I fink it’s all gonna kick off but you know what it’s like course you do spend spend spend get flash with the readdies this fing is burning a hole in me pocket I gotta get me thrills and spills and pills have a huge fuck off wad of bish bosh dosh buy me designer wear all the latest gadgets and buttons satellite tracking MP3 camera phone so pick up the fucking phone just one more ring just one more ring ‘cos I’ve got a bad feeling about today I don’t fink fings are gonna quite go my way now I might be right I might be wrong but I don’t fink we should ‘ave nicked the fucking sun for fuck’s sake pick up the fucking phone please pick up the phone ‘cos it’s all gone dark and I can’t find my way home
Children of the material age oblivious to when the cornflowers bloom hang around on street corners that bare the names of former heroes who come complete with post codes but beg the question who the fuck are you
• P.A. Levy says… “I'm a Cockney sparrow now living in exile in the beautiful Suffolk countryside.”