{"id":683,"date":"2010-05-19T19:39:48","date_gmt":"2010-05-19T19:39:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/ink.verticalplus.co.uk\/archive\/?p=683"},"modified":"2010-05-19T19:39:48","modified_gmt":"2010-05-19T19:39:48","slug":"bobby-parker-is-eating-alphabet-soup","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/inksweatandtears.co.uk\/archive\/bobby-parker-is-eating-alphabet-soup\/","title":{"rendered":"Bobby Parker is eating alphabet soup"},"content":{"rendered":"


Alphabet Soup <\/span>


a)<\/span>

Posing in the mirror with a knife.  <\/span>
Stealing from my mother\u2019s purse. <\/span>
Stealing my dad\u2019s cigarettes. <\/span>

My psychologist makes me draw<\/span>
pictures of screaming people. <\/span>

I don\u2019t feel anything, I am a dragonfly <\/span>
butting the walls in a seizure <\/span>
of supposed self-punishment.     <\/span>

I am always in trouble<\/span>
riding my bike in the rain. <\/span>

b)<\/span>

I would give my best day  <\/span>
back to the sky to remember <\/span>
that trick where the Ace of Hearts <\/span>
appears under a chair on the <\/span>
other side of the room \u2013 to be  <\/span>
“That magic kid down the street.” <\/span>

c)<\/span>

My best friend is teaching me <\/span>
the names of his favourite fighter planes. <\/span>
I saw his dad strangle him<\/span>
my friend made a sound that made me <\/span>
think of the time our dog Bruno<\/span>
choked on a sliver of balsa wood. <\/span>

My best friend\u2019s bedroom is full of model <\/span>
planes and ships. Obsessive. Reassuring. <\/span>
The world at war is very real to him. <\/span>
When he punches me on the arm <\/span>
I remind him that his mother<\/span>
ran off with the Italian down the road. <\/span>

d)<\/span>

My first drink \u2013 a pint of cider <\/span>
through a speckled straw, my mother <\/span>
cusses my old man in the kitchen. <\/span>

Upstairs my bed is travelling <\/span>
full steam across the Atlantic.<\/span>

When I get to wherever it is I am going <\/span>
I imagine first I\u2019ll be sick and then <\/span>
I\u2019ll fall asleep and in the morning I will<\/span>
have my first pubic hairs. <\/span>

e)<\/span>

Burning my stuff in the garden. <\/span>
Burning anything that burns.  <\/span>
I am fire because I miss my grandparents<\/span>
I am fire because I can\u2019t do maths <\/span>
I am fire because everything is so boring<\/span>
so flammable I\u2019m willing to oblige. <\/span>
                     Her name is Ashling<\/span>
she doesn\u2019t even look me in the eyes. <\/span>

f)<\/span>

From here eighteen is a long way off,<\/span>
mum says I can do what I want <\/span>
when I am eighteen. I make a list. <\/span>

My dad\u2019s dad died. He woke me<\/span>
up in the night and he hugged me <\/span>
and cried like a lost child. I thought<\/span>
I dreamed it but this morning <\/span>
his blue jumper was still <\/span>
damp around the shoulder. <\/span>

Eighteen. I say it to myself and it joins <\/span>
other fantastic words: sex, grownup, sex, <\/span>
freedom, sex, money \u2013 until it arrives <\/span>
I occupy myself with mourning. <\/span>

g)<\/span>

Last night was amazing <\/span>
but I thought I would feel different<\/span>
like I\u2019d be given some kind of superpower<\/span>
or know things I didn\u2019t know before. <\/span>

I don\u2019t think I\u2019ll see her again. <\/span>
My dad took one look at my face and said <\/span>
“You got some last night didn\u2019t you?” <\/span>
Well, she took something from me <\/span>
and I wanted her to have it but now <\/span>
I kinda want it back. <\/span>

Next week the career officer is going <\/span>
to tell me to decide <\/span>
what I\u2019m going to do with the rest of my life<\/span>



* Bobby Parker's<\/span> debut collection <\/span>Pictures of Screaming People<\/span> is avaible now from Erbacce Press <\/span>http:\/\/erbacce-press.webeden.co.uk\/#\/bobby-parker\/4538061853<\/a> “These poems are heartbreakingly honest moments of loss and survival, full of fine rhythms, surprising humour, and ambitious imagery. A powerful new voice.” …Joanna Ezekiel<\/span>

<\/font><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Alphabet Soup a)Posing in the mirror with a knife.  Stealing from my mother\u2019s purse. Stealing my dad\u2019s cigarettes. My psychologist makes me drawpictures of screaming people. I don\u2019t feel anything, I am a dragonfly butting the walls in a seizure of supposed self-punishment.     I am always in troubleriding my bike in the rain. b)I would […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-683","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-prose-poetry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/inksweatandtears.co.uk\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/683","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/inksweatandtears.co.uk\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/inksweatandtears.co.uk\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/inksweatandtears.co.uk\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/inksweatandtears.co.uk\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=683"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/inksweatandtears.co.uk\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/683\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/inksweatandtears.co.uk\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=683"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/inksweatandtears.co.uk\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=683"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/inksweatandtears.co.uk\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=683"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}