{"id":678,"date":"2010-05-16T17:35:20","date_gmt":"2010-05-16T17:35:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/ink.verticalplus.co.uk\/archive\/?p=678"},"modified":"2010-05-16T17:35:20","modified_gmt":"2010-05-16T17:35:20","slug":"fiona-sinclair-says-please-dont-bother-the-bride","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/inksweatandtears.co.uk\/archive\/fiona-sinclair-says-please-dont-bother-the-bride\/","title":{"rendered":"Fiona Sinclair says please don't bother the bride"},"content":{"rendered":"


Please don\u2019t bother the bride<\/span>
 <\/span>
 <\/span>
She makes the ideal extra in a wedding video with her<\/span>
extravagant white picture hat and vintage tea dress.<\/span>
 <\/span>
Chooses to sit near the wall on one of the red velour and<\/span>
gilt chairs ranked like theatrical soldiers in a light opera,<\/span>
 <\/span>
studies the order of service as if she was a slow reader;<\/span>
simultaneously trying to imagine the friend closeted in<\/span>
 <\/span>
a secret tower of the country hotel, attended by her mother<\/span>
and sister, thrifty fairy godmothers who conjure their prudent<\/span>
 <\/span>
magic to transform outfits and materials sensibly bought<\/span>
all that year in sales, into fantastic bridal paraphernalia.<\/span>
 <\/span>
A dusty cassette player begins to croak the wedding march.<\/span>
She turns. The gown that seemed unremarkable in the shop<\/span>
 <\/span>
when her friend bought it at half price, without trying it on,<\/span>
her Madame de Pompidou hair, garnished with a tiara and the<\/span>
 <\/span>
waxy bouquet translates her into a Wedgwood figurine.<\/span>
She is Marie Antoinette amidst a congregation of suits<\/span>
 <\/span>
without ties and cardigans. Post ceremony, the pair stand on the<\/span>
lawn, co-joined figures on a vast wedding cake. She hovers at their<\/span>
 <\/span>
side, tongue tied in the presence of the film star couple. Sips<\/span>
warm Pimms and nibbles occasionally at the corners of polite<\/span>
 <\/span>
conversation with other guests. Eventually manages to deliver<\/span>
her excuses like a sick note for games, exempting herself from<\/span>
 <\/span>
the reception where she would be placed on the white elephant<\/span>
table with widowed great aunts and a dateless nephew.<\/span>
 <\/span>
One week back from the honeymoon and the friend calls at her<\/span>
usual time 8:30 am. Over tea and cakes they smoothly pick up<\/span>
 <\/span>
their discussion where they had left it. But clothes and books <\/span>
and her friend\u2019s PhD must budge up to accommodate her casual<\/span>
 <\/span>
references to John now, who elbows his way into their conversation.<\/span>



<\/font>* Fiona Sinclair<\/span> has had work published in numerous reputable
\n magazines. Her
\nfirst chapbook Dirty Laundry<\/span> was published by Koo Press in
\nFebruary 2010.
<\/font>
<\/font><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Please don\u2019t bother the bride  She makes the ideal extra in a wedding video with herextravagant white picture hat and vintage tea dress. Chooses to sit near the wall on one of the red velour andgilt chairs ranked like theatrical soldiers in a light opera, studies the order of service as if she was a slow reader;simultaneously trying […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-678","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-prose-poetry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/inksweatandtears.co.uk\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/678","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/inksweatandtears.co.uk\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/inksweatandtears.co.uk\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/inksweatandtears.co.uk\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/inksweatandtears.co.uk\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=678"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/inksweatandtears.co.uk\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/678\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/inksweatandtears.co.uk\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=678"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/inksweatandtears.co.uk\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=678"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/inksweatandtears.co.uk\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=678"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}