{"id":632,"date":"2010-04-13T17:00:00","date_gmt":"2010-04-13T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/ink.verticalplus.co.uk\/archive\/?p=632"},"modified":"2010-04-13T17:00:00","modified_gmt":"2010-04-13T17:00:00","slug":"melanie-browne-checks-into-the-bed-breakfast-from-hell","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/inksweatandtears.co.uk\/archive\/melanie-browne-checks-into-the-bed-breakfast-from-hell\/","title":{"rendered":"Melanie Browne checks into the bed & breakfast from hell"},"content":{"rendered":"

A Bed and Breakfast in Hell<\/span>


I thought it might<\/span>
Spice things up a bit if I took the new fella<\/span>
to a bed and breakfast<\/span>
and he said don\u2019t get your hopes up<\/span>
I\u2019m a lot like Billy Bob Thornton I have that phobia of<\/span>
old furniture and antiques, what\u2019s that called again<\/span>
and I said I don\u2019t really know<\/span>
there\u2019s a lot of phobias I can\u2019t keep track<\/span>
And the lady told us there would be a desert<\/span>
tray outside our room with coffee and cookies<\/span>
and a nice chardonnay and we said that sounds<\/span>
great but the bed was a bit hard and there was no<\/span>
TV or DVD player, not even VHS<\/span>
just a bunch of books and some of them were<\/span>
readers digest, but look I said here\u2019s something,<\/span>
and I picked out Linda Goodman\u2019s Love Signs<\/span>
and I read the first chapter to him and I thought<\/span>
he was interested in it he said<\/span>
sounds like she's figured<\/span>
all of that stuff out,<\/span>
he nibbled on a cookie<\/span>
washed it down with<\/span>
a gulp of chardonnay<\/span>
his eyes glazed over<\/span>
I thought things went well<\/span>
but on the way home he<\/span>
said it was like he<\/span>
had gone to the<\/span>
bed and breakfast from hell<\/span>



<\/font>* Melanie Browne<\/span> is the co-editor of
\nLeaf Garden press \u2013 http:\/\/leafgardenpress.com<\/a>
\n Heaven is a Giant Pawn Shop<\/span> \u2013 a
\n collection of poems by Melanie Browne is available here: http:\/\/www.erbacce-press.com\/#\/melanie-browne\/4533546014\/<\/a><\/font>
<\/font> <\/span>

<\/font><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A Bed and Breakfast in HellI thought it mightSpice things up a bit if I took the new fellato a bed and breakfastand he said don\u2019t get your hopes upI\u2019m a lot like Billy Bob Thornton I have that phobia ofold furniture and antiques, what\u2019s that called againand I said I don\u2019t really knowthere\u2019s a […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-632","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-prose-poetry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/inksweatandtears.co.uk\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/632","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/inksweatandtears.co.uk\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/inksweatandtears.co.uk\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/inksweatandtears.co.uk\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/inksweatandtears.co.uk\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=632"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/inksweatandtears.co.uk\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/632\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/inksweatandtears.co.uk\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=632"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/inksweatandtears.co.uk\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=632"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/inksweatandtears.co.uk\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=632"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}