{"id":442,"date":"2011-11-16T18:47:00","date_gmt":"2011-11-16T18:47:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/ink.verticalplus.co.uk\/archive\/?p=442"},"modified":"2011-11-16T18:47:00","modified_gmt":"2011-11-16T18:47:00","slug":"cynthia-ruth-lewiss-squares","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/inksweatandtears.co.uk\/archive\/cynthia-ruth-lewiss-squares\/","title":{"rendered":"Cynthia Ruth Lewis's 'Squares'"},"content":{"rendered":"

Squares<\/span>
 <\/span> <\/span>
Not really, no\u2014<\/span>
things weren't going too smoothly,<\/span>
I remember telling you this morning<\/span>
in the laundry room, the words sticking<\/span>
in my throat like lint in a trap, as I folded<\/span>
and re-folded a rag into perfect squares,<\/span>
as if I could change the shape of things,<\/span>
as if I could take the clothes from the dryer,<\/span>
fold and pile them into the basket,<\/span>
my troubles washed away with the detergent<\/span>
and bleach, fresh and clean<\/span>
 <\/span>
I told you everything\u2014the motel, the razors,<\/span>
the call from the doctor at three in the morning.<\/span>
The long, long drive to collect my brother and<\/span>
his belongings, stowing my fear in the rear of<\/span>
the empty U-Haul to make room for the map <\/span>
plastered between my husband and I, guiding<\/span>
us towards that apartment, those wrists.<\/span>
Upon arrival, I find he looks the same, only<\/span>
paler; a shade of life lighter, but I sidestepped<\/span>
the matter, avoiding the purpose, speaking of<\/span>
anything but the reason we were there:<\/span>
the weather, reruns on t.v., his old knee injury<\/span>
from a bike race gone too far. Here we are now,<\/span>
loading boxes, gutting the place which now<\/span>
blinked wide like an eye to see us off on the<\/span>
long trek back, no room even to glance at the map;<\/span>
now creased into careless halves, stashed in the<\/span>
door of the rental van, relying on memory alone, <\/span>
and, once home, parking the U-Haul sideways and<\/span>
taking up three spaces, as it would not fit within<\/span>
one tiny, tiny lot<\/span>
 <\/span>
Now, scrubbing the grape juice spots off the counter<\/span>
for the umpteenth time, lowering the volume on<\/span>
the ever-blaring t.v., and re-bandaging his damaged<\/span>
wrists while trying to find myself somewhere<\/span>
between the laundry and the dishes and the crying\u2014<\/span>
he's got <\/span>his<\/span> life back, what about <\/span>mine<\/span>? With my<\/span>
husband urging continually in my ear:  “You've<\/span>
got to tell him; he's your brother”…<\/span>
 <\/span>
Right now, my blood's as thin as water.<\/span>
<\/p>\n



*Cynthia Ruth Lewis<\/span> currently lives in Sacramento, Ca.  Her work has appeared in Nerve Cowboy, Canopic Jar, My Favorite Bullet, and others. <\/span>

Squares<\/span> has previously appeared in Underground Voices<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Squares  Not really, no\u2014things weren't going too smoothly,I remember telling you this morningin the laundry room, the words stickingin my throat like lint in a trap, as I foldedand re-folded a rag into perfect squares,as if I could change the shape of things,as if I could take the clothes from the dryer,fold and pile them […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-442","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-prose-poetry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/inksweatandtears.co.uk\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/442","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/inksweatandtears.co.uk\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/inksweatandtears.co.uk\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/inksweatandtears.co.uk\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/inksweatandtears.co.uk\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=442"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/inksweatandtears.co.uk\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/442\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/inksweatandtears.co.uk\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=442"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/inksweatandtears.co.uk\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=442"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/inksweatandtears.co.uk\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=442"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}