{"id":1693,"date":"2009-05-05T10:00:00","date_gmt":"2009-05-05T10:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/ink.verticalplus.co.uk\/archive\/?p=1693"},"modified":"2020-12-14T13:44:54","modified_gmt":"2020-12-14T13:44:54","slug":"jeff-winke-is-having-a-heart-attack-because","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/inksweatandtears.co.uk\/archive\/jeff-winke-is-having-a-heart-attack-because\/","title":{"rendered":"Jeff Winke is having a heart attack because"},"content":{"rendered":"


Micro Heart Attacks Because<\/span>

I\u2019d gamble my last buck, he said, that she\u2019s got a<\/span>
field guide stashed in that backpack. We couldn\u2019t help<\/span>
but overhear her whiny monologue about hummingbirds.<\/span>
\u201cThey\u2019re dropping from the sky, every last one of them<\/span>
\u2013 heart attacks.\u201d Her pinch-nosed vegetarian friend<\/span>
(it was previously established that her pale mousy<\/span>
tablemate is a militant vegetarian) asks if they are<\/span>
micro heart attacks because the birds are so small.<\/span>
\u201cNot to them! It\u2019s obviously massive.\u201d  This is one of<\/span>
those days where nothing constructive will be<\/span>
accomplished. I\u2019ve placed life on hold \u2013 even my cell<\/span>
phone message says: I\u2019m currently in stasis mode,<\/span>
leave your message after you hear the Jimi Hendrix<\/span>
guitar riff and I\u2019ll call back after I re-emerge. My<\/span>
friend turns his sweaty flushed face to me and says:<\/span>
I\u2019m fast approaching the point.  O.K. let\u2019s scoot, I<\/span>
say, as I quickly cap my fountain pen and close my<\/span>
notebook. For my friend, the point is explosive \u2013 a<\/span>
pivot between control and maximum aggravation. We<\/span>
leave. Faster than a hummingbird dropping from a<\/span>
nectar feeder.<\/span>

nervous twitch<\/span>
the smell of cheap cologne<\/span>
fills the small office<\/span>


<\/font>* <\/font>Jeffrey Winke is a haiku\/haibun poet and public relations counselor. Recent publications include That Smirking Face<\/span>, a haiku-art broadside collaboration with Matt Cipov (Milwaukee: Distant Thunder Press, 2008) and PR Idea Book: 50 Proven Tools That Really Work<\/span> (Denver: Outskirts Press, 2006). www.jeffwinke.com<\/a><\/font>
<\/font>
<\/font><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Micro Heart Attacks BecauseI\u2019d gamble my last buck, he said, that she\u2019s got afield guide stashed in that backpack. We couldn\u2019t helpbut overhear her whiny monologue about hummingbirds.\u201cThey\u2019re dropping from the sky, every last one of them\u2013 heart attacks.\u201d Her pinch-nosed vegetarian friend(it was previously established that her pale mousytablemate is a militant vegetarian) asks […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1693","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-haibun-tanka-haiku-haiga"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/inksweatandtears.co.uk\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1693","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/inksweatandtears.co.uk\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/inksweatandtears.co.uk\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/inksweatandtears.co.uk\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/inksweatandtears.co.uk\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1693"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/inksweatandtears.co.uk\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1693\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":24090,"href":"https:\/\/inksweatandtears.co.uk\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1693\/revisions\/24090"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/inksweatandtears.co.uk\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1693"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/inksweatandtears.co.uk\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1693"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/inksweatandtears.co.uk\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1693"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}