{"id":1418,"date":"2008-10-13T08:53:00","date_gmt":"2008-10-13T08:53:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/ink.verticalplus.co.uk\/archive\/?p=1418"},"modified":"2008-10-13T08:53:00","modified_gmt":"2008-10-13T08:53:00","slug":"justin-hyde-remembers-door-to-door-selling-and-i-hop-restrooms","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/inksweatandtears.co.uk\/archive\/justin-hyde-remembers-door-to-door-selling-and-i-hop-restrooms\/","title":{"rendered":"Justin Hyde remembers door-to-door selling and i-hop restrooms"},"content":{"rendered":"

my seven hours as a door to door vacuum cleaner salesman<\/span>
 <\/span>

shake a stick<\/span>
throw a jab<\/span>
sodomize a garbage can.<\/span>
 <\/span>
peel an orange<\/span>
lop off your foot with a banjo<\/span>
play the cymbal with your penis.<\/span>
 <\/span>
wear a suit of baloney<\/span>
snorkel on a gravel road<\/span>
read a biography of michael jackson.<\/span>
 <\/span>
buy a 56inch sony flat-screen<\/span>
bury it in your back yard.<\/span>
 <\/span>
start an email petition<\/span>
to save the yeti.<\/span>
 <\/span>
sponsor your toaster<\/span>
in a 5k run<\/span>
to raise money<\/span>
for chicken-pox research.<\/span>
 <\/span>

~ ~ ~ ~ ~<\/span>

 <\/span>
four months buy valtrex in australia<\/a> down the road<\/span>
 <\/span>

that night<\/span>
we both laughed<\/span>
as she put a cigarette out<\/span>
in my hand<\/span>
while i fucked her up the ass<\/span>
in the i-hop bathroom<\/span>
a few hours<\/span>
after meeting in a bar.<\/span>
 <\/span>
four months down the road<\/span>
she turned up<\/span>
as my mother's roommate<\/span>
in rehab.<\/span>
 <\/span>
now either<\/span>
she didn't recognize me<\/span>
 <\/span>
or she was putting on a good show.<\/span>
 <\/span>
i'm not sure.<\/span>
 <\/span>
but my money says<\/span>
she was so spun out on dope<\/span>
at the time<\/span>
she honestly<\/span>
didn't remember any of it.<\/span>
 <\/span>
which makes me a-lot less<\/span>
proud of myself<\/span>
for being able to pull a chick out of a bar<\/span>
and fuck her up the ass<\/span>
in the i-hop restroom<\/span>
 <\/span>
but paradoxically<\/span>
much more fond<\/span>
of this fly-shaped scar<\/span>
three inches south<\/span>
of the big knuckle<\/span>
on my right hand.<\/span>


* Justin Hyde lives in Iowa, where he works with criminals for
\na living. More of his published work can be found at <\/span>www.nyqpoets.net\/poet\/justinhyde<\/a>
<\/font><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

my seven hours as a door to door vacuum cleaner salesman shake a stickthrow a jabsodomize a garbage can. peel an orangelop off your foot with a banjoplay the cymbal with your penis. wear a suit of baloneysnorkel on a gravel roadread a biography of michael jackson. buy a 56inch sony flat-screenbury it in your back yard. start an email […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1418","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-prose-poetry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/inksweatandtears.co.uk\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1418","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/inksweatandtears.co.uk\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/inksweatandtears.co.uk\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/inksweatandtears.co.uk\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/inksweatandtears.co.uk\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1418"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/inksweatandtears.co.uk\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1418\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/inksweatandtears.co.uk\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1418"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/inksweatandtears.co.uk\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1418"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/inksweatandtears.co.uk\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1418"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}