{"id":1240,"date":"2008-05-05T08:52:46","date_gmt":"2008-05-05T08:52:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/ink.verticalplus.co.uk\/archive\/?p=1240"},"modified":"2008-05-05T08:52:46","modified_gmt":"2008-05-05T08:52:46","slug":"geoff-stevens-goes-decimal","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/inksweatandtears.co.uk\/archive\/geoff-stevens-goes-decimal\/","title":{"rendered":"Geoff Stevens goes decimal"},"content":{"rendered":"

THE DECIMALISATION OF EMILY<\/span>


Emily is 36.48 years old<\/span>
she's 1.65 metres tall<\/span>
and measures<\/span>
36.38<\/span>
27.2<\/span>
and 36.33 recurring<\/span>
She weighs in at 128.54 pounds<\/span>
as her weight hasn't got used to kilograms yet<\/span>
She has regular habits<\/span>
0.84 of the time<\/span>
goes to bingo 1.6 times a week<\/span>
and watches 14.7 hours of telly<\/span>
14.6 hours of it bad telly<\/span>
She goes to bed at 23.2 hours<\/span>
and gets up at 6.8 a.m.<\/span>
to 0.75 of a bowl of muesli<\/span>
and 3.6 fluid ounces of skimmed milk<\/span>
Emily has sex 1.9 times a week<\/span>
0.97 of the time with her regular boyfriend<\/span>
and achieves orgasm .03 of the time<\/span>
with the other guy<\/span>
She has 2.5 children<\/span>
which confuses the family allowance people<\/span>
but saves on one pair of trousers<\/span>
Emily records all these details of her life accurately<\/span>
0.86 of the time<\/span>
in her diary<\/span>
Emily thinks she has at least .95 of her finger on the button<\/span>
but in fact she only knows 0.4 of it all<\/span>
Emily is too clever by 0.5<\/span>


\u2022 Geoff Stevens is a regular IS&T contributor \u2013 he's a poet and a painter and editor of the <\/span>Purple Patch<\/span> poetry magazine.<\/span>
<\/font><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

THE DECIMALISATION OF EMILYEmily is 36.48 years oldshe's 1.65 metres talland measures36.3827.2and 36.33 recurringShe weighs in at 128.54 poundsas her weight hasn't got used to kilograms yetShe has regular habits0.84 of the timegoes to bingo 1.6 times a weekand watches 14.7 hours of telly14.6 hours of it bad tellyShe goes to bed at 23.2 hoursand […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1240","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-prose-poetry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/inksweatandtears.co.uk\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1240","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/inksweatandtears.co.uk\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/inksweatandtears.co.uk\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/inksweatandtears.co.uk\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/inksweatandtears.co.uk\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1240"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/inksweatandtears.co.uk\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1240\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/inksweatandtears.co.uk\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1240"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/inksweatandtears.co.uk\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1240"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/inksweatandtears.co.uk\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1240"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}