Manners<\/strong><\/p>\nGladys Walker ascended to heaven in her eight-first year to find the place not at all to her satisfaction. Glancing critically over the field of serrated clouds upon which a manna market had been erected, she collared the next person who jostled past her.<\/p>\n
\u2018Einstein?\u2019 she barked.<\/p>\n
\u2018That is I,\u2019 he replied candidly, for in heaven no untruths may be told.<\/p>\n
\u2018This is not what I had in mind when I pictured eternity. Is this all there is?\u2019<\/p>\n
\u2018All there is? What more could you wish for? Any flavour you care to imagine and it may be found here!\u2019 He swept his hand across the teeming plain and gazed in wonder.<\/p>\n
\u2018And beyond the market?\u2019<\/p>\n
Einstein\u2019s eyebrows rose up like a pair of ambushed seagulls. \u2018Madam, once you\u2019ve tasted our manna, the question of beyond ceases to exist.\u2019<\/p>\n
\u2018Yes well! I\u2019d like to have a word with God all the same. If you could point me in the right direction!\u2019<\/p>\n
\u2018Not possible I\u2019m afraid. He\u2019s indisposed. Indefinitely.\u2019<\/p>\n
\u2018How so?\u2019<\/p>\n
\u2018Depression or some such. He just doesn\u2019t believe in himself anymore.\u2019<\/p>\n
\u2018Well then, Jesus?\u2019<\/p>\n
\u2018Blackholing in Andromeda I believe.\u2019<\/p>\n
\u2018St. Peter?\u2019<\/p>\n
\u2018Otherwise engaged. Problem at the entrance. Went to ask about letting some thieves in, came back to find the gate missing.\u2019<\/p>\n
\u2018Outrageous. This is not the heaven I imagined!\u2019<\/p>\n
\u2018Ah! Heaven, madam, is a problematic concept. By what standard do you take measure? It\u2019s rather a question of relativity.\u2019<\/p>\n
And with that, Einstein disappeared greedily into the munching masses.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Geoff Mills<\/strong> is a Midlands based writer and teacher. He is currently in the final year of his PhD in creative writing at Birmingham University and teaches on the script writing module at Worcester University. www.geoff-mills.com<\/a>\u00a0 @geoffmills7<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Manners Gladys Walker ascended to heaven in her eight-first year to find the place not at all to her satisfaction. Glancing critically over the field of serrated clouds upon which a manna market had been erected, she collared the next person who jostled past her. \u2018Einstein?\u2019 she barked. \u2018That is I,\u2019 he replied […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[135,7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-11018","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-2016-poetry-picks","category-prose-poetry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/inksweatandtears.co.uk\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11018","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/inksweatandtears.co.uk\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/inksweatandtears.co.uk\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/inksweatandtears.co.uk\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/inksweatandtears.co.uk\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=11018"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/inksweatandtears.co.uk\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11018\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":23822,"href":"https:\/\/inksweatandtears.co.uk\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11018\/revisions\/23822"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/inksweatandtears.co.uk\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=11018"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/inksweatandtears.co.uk\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=11018"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/inksweatandtears.co.uk\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=11018"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}